Adulthood

Post Number 75: A Broken Bell

Posted on by Candid Wallflowers

I purchased a bicycle recently, in an effort to boost my wellness. It was to be delivered in the afternoon – by approximately 4 PM, as I had been informed. I was excited for it to arrive. “Child-like excitement,” as a friend put it. The cycle came at 11:15 PM, deflating all my enthusiasm. I had planned to take a couple of rounds on it, but it was too late. Until my mother noticed the bell-head of the cycle was missing.

I immediately sprung up and cycled towards the delivery man who had turned about to leave…

…This article has been moved to https://www.incurato.com/a-broken-bell

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Post Number 68: Unsettled

Posted on by Candid Wallflowers

Of late I have been regularly wondering if I am doing what I am meant to do with my life. Am I happy? Am I settling in mediocrity? I know what I am doing is not mediocre by any definition and just saying this reeks of privilege that stinks to high heavens. Yet, despite having all the support growing up, the possibility that I may not be fulfilling my “full potential” terrifies me.

We are told to study well and hustle for opportunities so we can stand on our own two feet and support ourselves. I have a job now, I earn enough to support myself, then why do I still feel less than I am? Is it me personally seeking something more in life or is it just the world around my childhood self, telling me that I need to keep doing more?

I wish I could say here that I’ve found the answer but sadly not. I worry that I may never find the answer. I wish I could be like all those Instagram people making their daily self affirmations and popping in new health supplement pills that sponsor them, but I am not. I suspect that they aren’t either, but you will never know watching them. 

I am going to keep it shorter than my already short articles. However, I do want to know if you have ever felt the same and what you tell yourself when you have these thoughts.

Post Number 56 : Not so home, away from home

Posted on by Candid Wallflowers

Before coming to the US, on multiple occasions my family had reminded me not to try replicate my life in India here. I hadn’t really paid much attention to them at the time. It seemed so silly. Of course, I wouldn’t. Between my classes and keeping myself alive everyday, I doubt I would ever have the time to replicate my old home in my soon to be new home. Yes, I was scared of living alone for the first time. I was decidedly not looking forward to cooking because I wasn’t sure if I would survive my cooking. However, the idea of living alone, like an adult and having independent adventures over shone any of those worries. 

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Post Number 39 : Learning to Deal with this Adulthood Thing

Posted on by Candid Wallflowers

I remember being younger and smaller and looking up to people in their 20s with this rose-tinted lens; of hope, of admiration, of wonderment. These people looked so aspirational, so sorted, so aware of who they were and what they did. While I observed them with a glass of Pepsi in my hand, they looked so damn cool discussing ‘office’ with a beer in theirs. Office. It seemed like the be-all-and-end-all at that age. All roads led there. It was to be the outcome of the rigors and pain of filling notebooks and giving exams during school time. Life would be sorted, I was told. Just work hard during school.

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