The following program has been crafted and perfected by an experienced individual with an extensive knowledge of whiling away time and accomplishing little of actual relevance in daily life. If you are a homo-sapien predisposed towards utilizing every second out of the 86400 given in a day, then this program is not recommended at all. It may lead to bouts of restlessness and hopelessness, followed by pangs of guilt and a feeling of inadequacy and I at no point encourage such emotions in the process of whiling away time.

Well, now that the disclaimer is out, let’s get down to the nitty-gritty. There are fewer pleasures in life more gratifying than waking up on a Monday and realizing you don’t have to go to work because HOLIDAYS!!! Well, come to think of it, finding money in your clothes that you had no idea about is pretty satisfying. And having your sarcasm being taken for an appreciative remark is also incredible. But I digress.

If you’re still with me at this point, then boy you have free time enough to actually read what I write. Just Kidding. *Please like, share and comment  Here’s your modus operandi.

Step 1: Prepare an extensively chalked out, unachievable daily routine that ends up with you learning 3 new languages, 2 programming skills, becoming a teen social activist, a YouTube sensation and achieving world peace a-la’ Ms. Universe in the span of two months. Then look at it and laugh and throw it away. We don’t encourage unrealistic expectations. We notice your potential for wasting time and plan accordingly.

Step 2: Get your sleep cycle irreparably damaged. Like Indian Censor Board reputation level damaged. The more peculiar, the better. Then talk to friends around you who sleep around 11 and wake up at 6 and shoot condescending looks up and down and make wisecracks at this absurdity called a healthy sleep cycle.

Step 3: Pick up a YouTube proclivity that has no use in your life. None whatsoever. If you develop a liking towards News Channels and channels and podcasts that raise your inherent ability to critically analyze and evaluate the world around you, then you have clearly missed out on the point of this exercise. Close them ASAP and switch to ‘Baby playing guitar in space’. That is a legitimate video. I kid you not.

Step 4: Avoid human interaction at all costs. Interacting with peers will :

1. Make you realize you aren’t doing anything productive.
2. Make your peers pity you on account of your daily routine surmounting to nothing useful
3. Bring thoughts of abandoning the idea of eternal free time, a feeling this program doesn’t endorse.

Your self confidence is a prime concern of ours. We wouldn’t want to you feel upset just because in the time span your friend picked up playing guitar and speaking Spanish to become an Enrique Iglesias wannabe, you acquired the earth shattering knowledge that Hide and Seek is actually called I-spy and not I-spice.

Step 5: We understand that variety is the spice of life. Surmounting to no good on a frequent basis will induce boredom. And ensuring you aren’t doing things of value is a challenging task in itself. But fret not, mon frère. We encourage mutual uselessness. So follow subreddits sharing sage advice pertaining to the issue in question. You will be amazed to be a part of this global community built on the principles of ‘Laze. Lethargy. Lounge.’

Now that we have the fundamentals all laid out, you are good to go! This is obviously not an exhaustive list. For every human out there who is working on a cure for Cancer, there is a counterpart counting the tiles in his bathroom. We aspire to be the latter. So join this global movement and pledge your allegiance to this noble cause. We need to take the world by storm. And while you do that, let me just rush to Huffington Post and Coursera to learn things that add another zero to my future salary. See ya!