Serena Williams recently gave birth to her daughter and the little fan-girl part me of me is ecstatic at knowing that this incredible woman is happily adding a new role to her life. But that is not even half of it. After all, every second, there are four kids taking birth somewhere around the world. So what really has Serena Williams done to makes me this happy?

It’s this open letter she wrote to her mother, Oracene Price:

“Dear Mom,

You are one of the strongest women I know. I was looking at my daughter (OMG, yes, I have a daughter) and she has my arms and legs! My exact same strong, muscular, powerful, sensational arms and body. I don’t know how I would react if she has to go through what I’ve gone through since I was a 15 year old and even to this day.

I’ve been called man because I appeared outwardly strong. It has been said that that I use drugs (No, I have always had far too much integrity to behave dishonestly in order to gain an advantage). It has been said I don’t belong in Women’s sports — that I belong in Men’s — because I look stronger than many other women do. (No, I just work hard and I was born with this badass body and proud of it).

But mom, I’m not sure how you did not go off on every single reporter, person, announcer and quite frankly, hater, who was too ignorant to understand the power of a black woman.

I am proud we were able to show them what some women look like. We don’t all look the same. We are curvy, strong, muscular, tall, small, just to name a few, and all the same: we are women and proud!

You are so classy; I only wish I could take your lead. I am trying, though, and God is not done with me yet. I have a LONG way to go, but thank you.

Thank you for being the role model I needed to endure all the hardships that I now regard as challenges–ones that I enjoy. I hope to teach my baby Alexis Olympia the same, and have the same fortitude you have had.

Promise me Mom, that you will continue to help. I’m not sure if I am as meek and strong as you are yet. I hope to get there one day. I love you dearly.

Your youngest of five,

Serena”

I couldn’t have highlighted William’s struggle with body image, better. Look at the power of her words – “My exact same strong, muscular, powerful, sensational arms and body.” And it’s 100% true. All those glorious muscles, the sensational smile, those cute and peppy little sports clothes she wears on the court, and just the incredible sportswoman she is, are a result of the humungous amount of hard work she puts in her job.

And yet, she has to deal with nasty comments. She’s been called manly because she looks too strong. The so called fashion police have routinely criticised her fashion choices on court because a woman with her big body structure shouldn’t be wearing the kind of clothes she wears. Those clothes are too feminine for her!

Just imagine, here is this lady who is winning grand slams after grand slams and it’s her clothes that matter so much to people. Clothes that aren’t even so inappropriate that they can thought of as “bad influence”. Not that it should matter anyway. You wear what enables you to do your job best and makes you happy. That is all.

Serena’s viral post highlights a terrible truth of our society. We care so much about our looks that all other skills and accomplishments become nothing. It’s important to be healthy and exercise a bit. It also feels absolutely smashing to have a beautiful figure. But that’s not enough anymore. You have to have just the right amount of curves, a perfectly chiselled jawline, a teeny tiny waist and no less than an Amazonian height. Add to the misery, if you have small breasts, you’re not good looking enough. If you have big breasts, you’re too large. If you’re more than a size 4, you’re grotesquely fat. If you’re just naturally thin, you’re anorexic and super unattractive. If you’re gorgeous, you must be dumb. There’s no win in this fight!

Of course, the same can be said for men too. But honestly, even though it gets quite bad for them too, the issue just isn’t big enough in their case.

You know Kate Upton? Yeah, the same woman who happens to be the crush of thousands of men and women. She has lost out on many modelling contracts and faced considerable flak just because she has larger breasts than the average model.

It is no surprise why Vidya Balan, at the height of her career, decided to embrace her body, fat cells included. She continues to militantly defend her decision.  When whatever you do, is not enough, because people will always find something to criticise about you, it becomes much easier to just stop caring about others, and start doing what you feel is right.

As should be the case. But wouldn’t it be wonderful if we could stop being so critical of others? Some things matter in the long run. Some things don’t. Beauty and clothes often fall into the second category. Note that the operative word here is often and not always. Good looks and great clothes can be a source of happiness. They also go a long way in helping build up someone’s morale or personality. But they’re not the be-all-and-end-all. What ultimately and will always matter, is the kind of work we do and the type of person we are.